b-r-double o-k-lyn drama

Last night after Pig, Lauren and I waited for the F together at 34th Street Herald Square. It was a long wait, because the subways were nightmare city last night. Here are some things that happened:

• The station, as per usual, smelled like a combination of pee and poop and musk, but mostly like stale farts mixed with stale body odor. Why does only this station smell this way? Surely there is something that could be done to make this station smell like all the others - just vaguely bad, but not so much that you have to breathe through your mouth.
• Several roaches scurried about on the platform. I mean, whatever, it’s New York. Roaches happen. But do they need to happen so much at 34th Street?
• Mid-conversation, Lauren and I heard a rat squeak. Again, whatever, nothing weird here. Except this: THE SQUEAK CAME FROM ABOVE US. Both of us, wanting desperately to be wrong, wrote it off. Maybe it was something else! Two minutes later, a noise that chilled me to my bone: the unmistakable sound of MULTIPLE RATS FIGHTING IN THE VENT DIRECTLY ABOVE OUR HEADS.

Fuck this fuck this fuck this. Life is too short. I’m walking to 23rd Street from now on.