b-r-double o-k-lyn drama

Oh god, this is so perfect.

“We see you have a website here in which you give people what could best be described as arts and crafts ‘homework assignments’ of various sorts, but to be quite honest, we can’t make head or tail of it,”  Sen. Charles Schumer (D-NY) said while consulting a laptop in order to view one of July’s perplexing Internet outlets, learningtoloveyoumore.com. “By all outward appearances, you seem to be doing just fine, financially speaking, but if money somehow directly or indirectly changes hands due to your online activities, it’s really completely beyond us how, or to what end.”

“If, for example, I wanted to buy something from you, how would I do it?” a visibly frustrated Schumer continued. “And what would it be? Would it be something I could hold in my hands?”